The other day I got to celebrate my birthday.
In the wise words of one of the world’s great hero’s, David Goggins, “Merry fucking Christmas.”
I love birthdays as much as the next guy, but the twenty-second of August has a habit of launching me into quarter life crisis mode.
It’s The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Until the age of eighteen, one of my core beliefs was that everyone was born with a sense of what they should do with their lives. Or more specifically, that each of us should have a burning passion for one of a very standard selection of careers – doctor, lawyer, teacher, etc.
I was a weird kid, so I wasn’t surprised when none of these things sparked my interest. The problem was, I couldn’t figure out “the one thing” that did.
As I grew older, nothing changed, and I decided that I was an outcast of sorts.
Which is when I first entered the quarter life crisis orbit.
After twenty-six years not much has changed. Each year brings with it a new quarter life crisis and a general lack of knowledge as to “what I should be doing” or “how I should be living my life.”
I Wasn’t an Outcast, I Was Just Honest
As I’ve matured (I think), the picture has started to get more clear.
It’s no secret that we’re little more than the sum of the opinions and ideas of the people around us… People who have also stolen their opinions and ideas from someone else.
More specifically, someone that probably didn’t know shit.
The worst of these opinions is that everyone has it all figured out; that we’re all supposed to know exactly what we want to do with our lives from the day that we stop pissing the bed.
And when we don’t, it scares the fuck out of us. Which pushes many of us to settle.
We settle for whatever our family thinks is best, or we find a career that pays us boat loads of money, or we commit to a job that has a good retirement plan.
Which Is a Surefire Way to Hate Our Life
When we choose to do something that our heart isn’t sold on, it creates a world of problems.
At the most basic level, we go through the motions of our life – steadily declining and degenerating into a zombie that wakes, “force feeds, shits, pisses, brushes teeth and hair, and fights traffic to get to a place where essentially he makes lots of money for somebody else and is asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so.”
We trade our happiness for stability. And stability is where dreams go to die.
The fear of potential financial instability, possible regret, backlash from our family and friends and society push us to a place we were never met to be.
Although stability and comfort are great, especially in the privileged state in which most of us live, we forget that people crave struggle.
To find fulfillment, we need to feel like we’re reaching for something more, something better than ourselves. That there’s a bigger reason for getting out of bed every morning than making it to work on time so that we can pay our rent.
Which Is Why It’s Important to Push Against the Dogma
Each of us has our own flavor of rebellion.
Some of us have been putting off writing a book. Others have avoided creating a YouTube channel. And others need to take a dream job, even though it means lower pay and waiting tables on the weekends to make ends meet.
Whatever the flavor might be, it’s the only way I’ve found true fulfillment in my life. Fulfillment that each of us deserves, and that I pray you someday find.
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